My wife took away my power staple gun. I had used it the past couple of Christmases to put up the outside lights, but Victoria took exception to the unsightly two-pronged divots it left on the outside window moldings.

Instead, she made me go buy some low-tech hooks that don't work nearly as well - and aren't much fun to use.

And really, fun is the purpose of power tools.

Look, fellas, you can talk all you want about the shop in your basement and all that you've accomplished there. But I've seen the look in your eyes as you troll the aisles of the home-improvement stores.

You lust in your heart after the Bosch 18-Volt Brute Tough 1/2-Inch Cordless Drill/Driver with Bluecore Battery Technology, don't you?

What women don't understand - especially at Christmas time - is that Home Depot and Lowe's are the largest toy stores in the world.

You think the man in your life actually needs all those brightly colored plastic-coated tools that line your garage?

Please. A few years ago, one of those back-to-basics, simplify-your-life nonprofit organizations polled home- improvement experts about the tools actually needed to maintain a typical 2,000-square-foot home on a quarter-acre lot.

Here's the list:

• 1 push lawnmower (and not the kind of push lawnmower with an engine)

• 1 leaf rake

• 1 bow rake

• 1 hand-cranked fertilizer/herbicide spreader

• 1 claw hammer

• 1 crosscut saw

• 1 rip saw

• 1 cordless power drill

• 1 power sander, belt or disk

• 1 pair of pliers

• 2 screwdrivers, slot and Phillips

• 1 32-piece socket wrench set

• 1 locking wrench

• 1 chain-pipe wrench

That's it.

Technically, anything more in your significant other's toolbox has to be classified as purely recreational.

That's not to say, ladies, that you should take that gift-wrapped DeWalt Heavy-Duty 31-Degree Clipped Head Framing Nailer/Compressor Combo Kit back to the store. Just give it to him for what it is.

It falls in the same category as his boat, his snowmobile and his $48,500 Dodge Ram SRT10 truck with Viper V10 engine.

But if he tells you that next Christmas he's getting you something for the house, you should reciprocate in kind.

At Sears, a Craftsman 16-Inch Hand Push Cut Path Reel Mower will set you back $89.95.

And worth every penny as you watch him tackle the grass in the backyard after a good, soaking spring rain.

But just for fun, can I have my staple gun back?

Times-News columnist Steve Crump can be reached at 735-3223 or scrump@magicvalley.com.