Grown-ups - as only grown-ups can - have fairly comprehensively squeezed the fun out of Halloween.

Adults' principal killjoy arguments - that unspeakable things happen to children who venture out on Fright Night and that trick-or-treating is the moral equivalent of devil worship - have turned Halloween into a pale, lukewarm, plastic celebration about as exciting for kids as trip to the fabric store.

For those of you responsible for this turn of events, I have just one question: How did you get so old?

I guarantee that your parents and grandparents were never as Amish as you. They understood that a certain amount of heck-raising is a child's birthright.

Exactly when did you parents forget to have fun?

I found myself at Target last Halloween afternoon. Mother after mother traipsed down the aisles, blandly costumed small children in tow with frowns on their faces.

The kids were tricked out in carefully considered "non-scary" attire - Barney and "safe" Disney characters predominated - and headed for a "trunk-or-treat."

A trunk-or-treat is an event that takes place in a parking lot, where vehicles are arranged in a circle. Small children go from rig to rig, collecting candy at each.

The expression on their young faces is similar to how kids look on Christmas morning after they open their gifts and find socks and underwear inside.

And the only thing remotely scary about a trunk-or-treat is how much Mars, Inc., is getting for a package of Skittles these days.

Come on, Mom and Dad.

You banish "disturbing" costumes - monsters, pirates, skeletons - lest your kids grow up to be Johnny Depp. They could do worse.

And devils and ghosts - once staple getups for trick-or-treating - are considered a blasphemy. Apparently, if a single kid dresses up as Beelzebub he threatens Christianity, Judaism and Islam as we know them.

Shoot, the curmudgeon who lived down at the end of my block and threw rotten apples at trick-or-treaters was more fun than you are, Mom and Dad.

Were you born 48 years old? When did you learn to take yourself so seriously?

Look, here's a modest proposal: Let your kids make their own fun this Halloween.

Allow them to figure out how they want to dress up. Let them decide which pieces of candy they're going to eat. Let them be silly.

They are, after all, pretty good at it. You, Mom and Dad, absolutely suck at having fun.

Steve Crump can be reached at 735-3223. Hear him live on KLIX-1310 AM at 8:30 a.m. Fridays or on the Web at www.magicvalley.com/opinion.